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I cringe and try to turn away but she takes her time, casually flicking with the crop as she circles me, I never know when or where the crop will strike; it appears that my breasts are her main target but my arms, legs, shoulders, even my stomach aren't spared. I try to be brave, I don't want to cry again but the crop hurts and even though I know she isn't hitting me hard I can't stand it. But the worst thing is the feeling of complete helplessness, the knowledge that she can do whatever she wants and I can't do a thing to stop her.It is too much and I start to blub, each strike forces me to beg and plead but through my sobs I'm sure nothing intelligible comes out, I feel ashamed that I have been defeated so quickly, but I have never in my life had to endure pain, I'm not prepared."Please, please, stop, I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I hurt you, I'll do whatever you want, please stop," I beg between sobs, at last she takes pity and stops hitting me, my head is hanging down and I can see. That means I need to depend on the kindness of others. If I expect that kindness, I need to be open.”My eyes narrowed at him, “And I was serious. If you share this with anyone… I’m going to be pissed.”He laughed and raised his hands. “Don’t need to be told twice. I get it.”He paused a second and thought about it. “So, I’m going to assume you don’t want to hang out with the other guys?”I shook my head at him. “I can’t afford to.”He nodded. “I get it now.”I suddenly felt really bad for him. I had laid all of this on him, and then put him in the spot where he essentially had to pick between them and me. It was a really unfair thing to do…“Look, I get it.” I told him, “I’m not asking you to choose between them and me. Frankly, where I am right now, you should choose them. I won’t be a good friend to you, not right now. I won’t hold it against you. I can get through this on my own.”He laughed and shook his head. “This is a no contest issue for me.”I didn’t get what he was talking about,.
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